Dunder Mifflin, Inc. - Scranton Newsletter

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Vol. 13 #6
June 30, 2011

PAM'S POLL
by: Pam Halpert

Should we bring back casual Fridays?

32% said "Yes"
61% said "No"
7% said "I don't do polls"

CELEB 411
by: Kelly Kapoor

I recently read that Jack White from The White Stripes and his wife had a "divorce party." They were together 6 years, couldn't make it work, but wanted to celebrate the ending in a positive way. I think that is such a cool idea. So cool in fact that I'm hosting a divorce party for Ryan and I!!! Ryan wasn't really into it, so he might not show up. But there will be plenty of dancing, photos and drinks. And I'm gonna look so hot that if Ryan does show, he'll probably take me back as his wife right that minute. Look for an Evite in your email. And if you don't get an Evite, it's not a mistake. You weren't invited.

NOT JUST FOR KIDS
by: Kevin Malone

A lot of people think "sexting" is just something the teens are doing these days. But apparently it's even more common for older people. Just so we're clear, a sext is a sexy text sent to somebody you know. It can also be a picture (score). With that being said, I want to let all the ladies at Dunder Mifflin know that I'm totally cool with receiving sexts, and I won't report you.

OPEN INVITATION
by: Angela Martin

The church in Honesdale will be hosting an evening of Christian music this weekend. It's quite the spectacle, featuring some of the area's most talented groups such as Jams for Jesus, The 12 Apostles, and Catechism 22. Their voices are, might I say, heavenly. There will also be a performance by the Christian rock group, Black Death (I will be leaving before they go on). All are welcome, with the exception of atheists.

RED, WHITE, AND EXTREMELY BLUE
by: Ryan Howard

July 4th is a time to celebrate America and all that it represents. But what exactly are we rejoicing in? House members who tweet pictures of their boners? The piece of crap economy? Fat people who have to be carved out of their houses? Single moms? America is a mess right now. We should be treating July 4th like we do Earth Day, where everyone dedicates time to making a difference and helps to get this country back on track. But no - instead, you'll all go about your day spending way too much money on processed meat, lighting up dirty charcoal grills that were made in China, blasting off toxic fireworks and pretending "it's all good." I weep for you, and I weep for the future.

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